Thesis Show: effusus

Artist Statement

Many people can relate to the concept of indifferently smearing hair on their shower tiles; the result is something visceral and enigmatic. Eventually, that hair is discarded and disregarded because it does not hold much value once it is off the head. Yet in many cultures, hair symbolizes virility; for women especially, it represents their beauty and self-worth.

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My work documents hair loss through both uncontrollable and impulsive means. The hairs displayed are the culmination of two weeks of hair loss; the hair was either naturally shed or plucked by me. Personal photographs are displayed on some tiles, exposing barren patches of skin on my eyes and scalp. I manipulated strands of hair to form words that convey how I have felt about this indisposition: losing my mind one strand at a time. The word “pluck” is a mantra that feeds into my trichotillomania (the urge to pull out hair). I carelessly scattered rhomboid tiles on the ground; I discarded them just as I would the hair I pluck.

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My compulsive hair-pulling and excessive hair shedding are a reaction to the consistent stressors in my life; they are beyond my control. What appears grotesque to others is my reality. I am showcasing my biggest imperfection, the reason why I avoid eye contact and feel inferior to my peers. However, I no longer want to be ashamed of this experience. By expressing such vulnerability, I want you, the viewer, to also reflect upon your own entanglements — your insecurities, burdens, and anxieties.